When the student is ready, the teacher appears.......

Monday morning I have my appointment with a fertility specialist. Big G and I are trying to get pregnant, which may prove challenging given both our ages. The statistics, so I'm constantly told, are not promising for us over-40s. Still, we are determined to try. The Good Doctor has discovered a fibroid that needs removing that is hampering our chance for success. He asks me what I'm doing this Wednesday. Its a little sooner than I'd planned for. Isnt there waiting lists for hospitals? Arent they a mile long? Apparently not in my case. I'm startled into saying yes, that's fine thank you. Big G is away for the week. He is working and cant come back. This bothers him a great deal more than it bothers me. I'm a bit cavalier about it all. My mother is here for support and its not a major procedure. How hard can it be? The Good Doctor is encouraging. So far he is the only medical professional we've seen that is! He is head of the local IVF program so I'm taking his encouragement quite seriously. I'm a woman of practical action so having a solid plan works for me. Here's a Doctor who not only can provide me with a plan, he can make it happen quickly. I leave his office feeling optimistic and a little disheveled. I have 2 days to organise time off work and get my head in the right space. I'm confident I can do this. Its going to be okay.

Tuesday morning: work is in chaos. A restructure has been announced in my organisation and the panic is palpable. No one is going to lose their jobs so there really isnt a need to panic. I'm nominated to represent on a couple of working groups to design the new organisational structure. Its here the rubber hits the road and the race is on for resources and power. Lots of lovely empire building is underway. The competition is fierce. I find myself questioning my opinions, changing my opinions and the vacillation goes on daily. I need to find Right View in this situation. I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to navigate this obstacle course, the obstacles being constructed from my own confusion. Tomorrow is my surgery....I've got enough to think about already.....